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operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

f1rstperson:

giddytf2:

"Gay marriage is still illegal. Can we get a ‘boo’ for that? It’s crazy to outlaw marriage. Marriage is a happy thing. You shouldn’t be able to vote on someone else’s happiness. These people don’t know these gay people, they’re not going to know them, they’re not gonna be their friends…they have control over their lives. That’s not fair.”

Civil muffin.

"I ordered a cake and if you order one at the same time it’ll affect my cake! You’re threatening the sanctity of my cake!"

(Source: 30rockasaurus)

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